THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

“As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around...” - Robert Breault

PRIDE: THE HOUSE

I was so proud when my son bought his first house.

He’d carefully planned ahead, stayed focused and had made it happen in an incredibly short amount of time.

In fact, he was so good with money, he was already working out how to buy a second one.

Even at his young age, he was such a great Monopoly player…

GREED: THE CAPTAIN

Our Captain had a very high kill count.

He was absolutely fearless, and never hesitated to throw himself into the thick of the danger.

All I could see, perched up high in my sniper position, was him running around, greedily taking out every target he could and leaving very little for anyone else to do.

But then, he was a much more experienced paintball player than the rest of us…

WRATH: THE TELEVISION

The football game had just started.

So I settled down to watch with a cold bottle of beer.

But my team were playing so badly, I was getting more and more frustrated with each passing moment.

Everything they were doing was wrong. 

As they conceded yet another goal, which would almost certainly ensure their defeat, I could take it no longer.

I felt the anger swell, and unable to control it, I ended up throwing my bottle at the television.

The screen instantly shattered.

Which didn’t go down at all well, with the rest of the people in the bar…

ENVY: THE WELL-DRESSED FRIEND

No matter what I was wearing, my friend always had a better outfit on than me.

It was inevitable.

He’d look immaculate, and I’d look terrible standing next to him.

I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous.

But he was clearly happy to waste his money on the game’s overpriced DLC costumes, whereas I refused to give them a penny…

LUST: THE CONQUESTS

He was absolutely insatiable.

It was like he was at an all-you-can-eat buffet, and he was determined to try one of everything.

But he never stayed with any of them for long.

Once his primal urges had been satisfied, they would be discarded, and he would move on.

All he cared about was the next conquest.

And all we cared about was the huge amount of money he was going to make us, if just one of those lustful encounters proved to be successful, and produced a foal that could grow up to be a race winner…

GLUTTONY: THE SNACKS

Just one more piece of chocolate, she told herself.

But it wasn’t long before the whole bar was gone.

So she started on the cakes next, scoffing down one after another until she was fed up with them.

Then it was on to the biscuits.

Which she was just about to tear open, when the supermarket staff finally caught up with her and made it very clear she was going to have to pay for all the food she’d eaten…

SLOTH: THE ARMCHAIR

It was just so comfortable.

Like sitting on a giant marshmallow.

It even had a massage function, and he had no plans to get up again any time soon.

But eventually, the store told him he would have to leave.

And he was swiftly escorted out by two security guards…